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Dear Soldier,
I was walking today through the store. Browsing books, and reading the backs for the synopsis. Considering a few, before placing them back on the shelves. I was waiting for my pictures to print, when I seen a plain looking book with a royal blue cover. It had gold writing, and a small picture of a man and child all outlined in gold. It popped out from all the rest, and when I read a few of the first words, the hair on the back of my kneck stood up.. I got goose bumps. It was about a journal that Soldier in Iraq wrote for his son. I purchased it along with everything I needed for your care package. Within the first chapter I was in tears. My heart raced as his girlfriend and mother of his child talked about her husband...his life, and his untimely death.

I guess its the one thing we never talked about. We've never talked about you dyeing. I guess you have settled my thoughts, and it sounds as if it is less dangerous then when the war first started, but every day that I hear about another Soldier dyeing it makes my stomach tighten, and I hold my breath until I hear a name. I then think, there might be a girl behind that name. A girl just like me who loves her soldier more then anything. Who thinks about him every time she sees a flag, and who feels so proud of him when she hears the National Anthem played at sporting events. Who counts down the days until he is home, and who fingers the framed photo of him every night before she goes to bed. Who wishes her blanket still smelled like him, and who prayed every night that he would return to her. Then my heart aches for them, and tears glisten in my eyes.

Yesterday when we were on cam together, you could tell I was about to cry. No one else could've been able to do that. You see me.. you see me more then anyone else does. The way you noticed the way my eyes got shiny, and I breathed in deeper. To anyone else I would've simply looked tired, but you seen. You knew. Thats when I realized that even though our time together physically has been so short, we have a connection that has been lost on most of the men that have come into my life. Due to the fact that we have spent more time apart then together, we haev a connection that is more mental then physical. You desire conversation (well I know you desire more, but distance puts a little damper on that!) and letters. You enjoy my smile, and the way I scrunch my face when I find something funny, but not quite funny enough to laugh out loud. You have come to notice the little things. I think thats why I love you.

soldier, I never intended to fall for someone in the military. I never thought I would see you after our first date. Now here we are. I am still so incredibly in love with you. I know things are difficult and hard. I know that you long for freedom to be able to do what you want without worrying about me.. or any girl for that matter. I know that you were hurt.. and we BOTH know the hurt of betrayal in a relationship. I know that you are scared, and you are going to try and distance yourself from anyone that makes you "feel" again. Its easier to be with someone who asks nothing, then to someone you would give anything for. I know this.. and yet I still crave you. I will still wait for you. I will still love you.

I dont know if there will come a day that I will wake up, and not love you as much as the day before. I dont know if i'll meet someone some day that will make me laugh more then you, or feel more.. or care more. I dont know. I want you to know that I am not angry at you. That I love you unconditionaly and that there will always be a part of me that loves you. I may not be a army girlfriend.. but I am in love with a soldier... who I know loves me back, and thats all that matters.

Baby I love you VERY very much.
Until we speak again,
Love you,
love
me.